I think I will have to take you up on that at some point.

If you need vocals, I'd be happy to help. I'm not a great singer though.

I'm eventually going to do a remake of this one. Not quite a remix, since it'll be substantially different from this version.

This remminds me of the style of music I used to make for the first couple of years, only this is heaps better. Other than being a little too repetative, I can't see any major faults. It sounds to me like like the beat wants to expand to a full-blown breakbeat though, it has those makings, so it's something you could try. Really great first effort.

Yeah, I can't say I'm 100 percent on how the song turned out myself. Thanks for the ideas on improvement!

Most of this is quite strongly produced and has a strong confident vibe. However...a few things really drag it down. -------A) virtually all drums are on 8th notes giving the song an overly robotic feel...plus the cymbal in between bass kicks is very loud thus making the groove sound very "locked" and overly predictable. Playing the 8th notes softer and using instruments on 16th notes accenting and "sidechaining" them would help immensely.------B) There is only one melody in this song with no real change to the underlying chords...IE it sounds like one big loop far as the melody C) the "breakdowns", like at 0:37, simply dim down the melody instead of changing the mood of rhythm a lot. Using a different style of rhythm and changing the melody would improve these "half-way breakdowns" a lot...the section at 2:15 "almost" changed moods with it's new set of instruments, feel free to elaborate on that-----D) various production flaws IE the cymbal and laser sound are about 1.5 times too loud and tend to draw attention away from the other instruments and actual melodies----E) "partly personal preferrence"...lack of more drums makes the songs sound a bit flat and artificial (this is partly related to A). ) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In short, I was torn between 2 and 3 stars, but reasons A), B), and C) above make the song sound quite incomplete while D) and E) aren't too major but are more "what you need to do to make it sound pro".________In short, this song has the feeling, in the same way Din's industrial songs do, but it sorely needs to be finished...very understandable as this is your first Renoise song. I agree with Din also...that filtered pads during the breaks could do wonders.

I'll see what I can do.

I still think you can push it a little further, like adding some filtered pads at some of the breaks. Crescendo :D Still good, especially as a song number 1 (no pound signs in comments...try it and see).